


We Are All Broken

by saphique



Category: The Favourite (2018)
Genre: F/F, Regret, Spoilers concerning the ending, devastation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphique/pseuds/saphique
Summary: *spoilers* My interpretation of the final scene. The Queen's POV





	We Are All Broken

**Author's Note:**

> *SPOILERS* final scene   
> I have so many ideas for The Favourite, I hope I could post them as fast as my thoughts. English isn't my native language.

Sarah's gone and will never come back. My dearest one, my beloved.

Here I am, paralyzed and repulsive, lying in my own gigantic dusty bed, alone and neglected. I'm shivering and perspiring, I'm suffering and immobilized, I'm encircled by Abigail's emotional manipulation, that robust grip and false warmth. Her hold on me may be invisible but it even affects my breathing. She plays with my mind. She enters my head without my consent.

At first, my affection towards Abigail was indeed a game, without other purpose than amusement and appreciation of courtship. How rejuvenating it felt to be seduced and complimented on. Especially seeing Sarah developing that delicious jealousy. True, I indeed gave Abigail permission to enter me, to slide in bed at my side and caress me, but she abused of my trust and started to play games with my judgment. Not that it's difficult, how can I blame her.  

Today, Abigail is currently deliberately hurting one of my babies, stepping on my 12th with the heel of her shoe. I recognize the cries. I saw her, I know I did. I didn't hallucinate that. I couldn't. These images usually only exist in my nightmares, but I saw it.

Horrified, I drag the weight of my old and wretched body towards the side of the bed, throwing myself on the floor to flee this scene. I seek refuge, I seek the known, I seek brown eyes. As I struggle in the direction of the passage leading to Sarah's bedchambers, my heart breaks, forcing my escape to interrupt midway as I recollect my thoughts. Sarah's gone. I've banished her, under Abigail's influence.

Sarah was right. She is a viper. Sarah is always right. And I am nothing without her, less a Queen, less a decent human being.

As entitled Queen, I'm more alone than I've ever been. Unloved, tricked, conned, ludicrous. I'm devastated and words can't describe how I am profoundly shameful for my infatuation, my immaturity, my clumsiness. Oh, Sarah…  

Sarah is the only one who never asked anything from me. Others may perceive her as cunning, self-absorbed, but she is only doing the best for her country, as difficult as it is. What does Abigail do? What does she offer? Time to remind her the usage of her hands, tongue and position, since I have nothing left other than my advanced disease, a broken heart and a boiling temper.

Abigail is squatting, trying her best to help me on my feet. Her touch burns, her consideration is deceitful and I feel nauseated. Her huge questioning eyes are sickening. At first, I thought these blue eyes were endearing, but now I find them hideous. She is pretty, that haven't changed. Why not remind her, at this very instant, who is in charge, reinforce confusion and refresh her memory about the duties attached to the title of the favourite?

As she fingers me without enthusiasm, I'm sure it reminds her of her previous situation where she had to use her body for survival. It all leads to the same. Except that this time, I can't feel anything. Not even a shiver, not even an ounce of pleasure nor tears of devastation. It's all disappeared, vanished with Sarah's departure. We are all broken.


End file.
